Friends and Places

I took a trip last weekend up to my good friend’s place up in southern Ohio.  He has a large beautiful plot of land up there.

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This trip reminded me of the importance of the human element of my trips. I love to spend occasional time alone to help me literally hear myself think, so I think there is virtue in my trips by myself, but having a good friend to spend time with is invaluable as well. We spent most of the weekend talking philosophy and life and it really recharged me. It was great to bounce new ideas off of each other and learn from each others unique perspectives. From now on I will be more conscious about the people I want to visit along with the places I visit.

The next day I took a great hike in the Smoky Mountains. I climbed the peak barefoot, which made me a temporary trail legend. I did it to make it easier to climb the rocks, but others saw it as odd apparently. It was fun to pass people on the way down and them smile at me funny and say, “are you the barefoot guy?”

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Beautiful TN morning

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My view at 8am in Jellico.

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Manatee Springs Florida

On Thursday, I was looking at pictures of springs in Florida and decided to drive down to Florida and kayak one of them. I’m trying to be more spontaneous with my trips to see if they have any impact of my enjoyment of them. I asked myself, “Why not?” and had no excuse. So I packed up my car and hit the road. It was a 5 hour drive down from Atlanta to get to Manatee springs. Well, it was supposed to be 5 hours. It ended up taking 7 because my kayak rack decided to break while I was going 70 miles per hour down the 75 freeway. Fortunately the strap held and the kayak did not fall off, but it did take some time to get it repositioned. I learned a lesson, and that is if you are going to put a kayak rack on another brand crossbar, expect problems. Also bring extra tie downs, which fortunately I did. I will now need to beef up the bolts on the rack to prevent this from happening again. I spent the rest of the trip listening to “The Aquariums of Pyongyang: Ten Years in the North Korean Gulag“. I’ll write more about that book on my other blog later.

I got down to Florida expecting it to be a little warmer and more humid than Atlanta but I did not set my expectations high enough. I got there in the middle of a rain torrent that made it nearly impossible to drive. Once the rain settled the air was so thick with humidity I could not keep my glasses from fogging up. I parked and walked around camp to see where the spring is and where I would launch my kayak from. I was awe struck by how clear and blue the water was when I arrived at the spring.

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It was still raining a little so I did not get the full effect until later. On a whim I decided to bring my snorkeling gear. I had no intention of getting in the water, other than with my kayak, but I ended up spending more time snorkeling than kayaking. The water was 72 degrees which felt extremely refreshing compared to the oppressive 99 degree and 90% humidity air. It was a little hard to get into because of the contrast, but once I was in I felt alive. There were fish everywhere in the 50 foot deep spring. You could see all the way to the bottom and the current swept upwards rapidly. I could not find the cave entrance to the spring, but apparently there is one that you can go into if you have diving gear. The water was a turquoise color that doesn’t quite show as vividly in the photos.

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I tried diving down as deep as I could, but only made it about 12 feet or so before the pressure was too much for my head. I couldn’t equalize for some reason either, probably just out of practice. I then spent the evening in camp, cooking steak and drinking beer. Deer kept wandering through my camp in herds. They became annoying after awhile because they looked far too interested in my food. I started a fire and spent my evening listening to the rest of “The Aquariums of Pyongyang: Ten Years in the North Korean Gulag”. My camper bed worked out well and I got about 8 hours of on-and-off sleep. I brought a fan with me because I knew there was an outlet in the camp site. If I had not have, there would not have been any sleep.

I had to get up once in the night to use the bathroom. I forgot my glasses, and am practically blind without them. On my way back I saw a fuzzy white shape lumbering towards me. At first I thought it was a skunk so I backed away and shined my flashlight at it. It kept coming at me and I backed up until I was back at the bathroom. The light from the bathroom lit it up more and I realized it was a armadillo. I guess they are pretty blind, or fearless, because it was not going to relent the path to me. I got up to it as close as I could to check it out. I have no idea about their nature so I didn’t mess with it too much and then went back to camp.

I got up early to go kayaking. It was already pretty hot so I only ended up going 2 miles up river.

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When the 72 degree water mixes with the 90 degree humid air, fog forms.

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The river itself wasn’t that interesting other than some huge eagles and buzzards that had about 6 foot wingspans.

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There were also 4 to 5 foot sturgeons jumping out of the water and smacking sideways when they landed. I never saw one jump but kept turning my head when I would hear the enormous splash. A smaller fish jumped about 8 feet over my kayak and I did see him fortunately.

When I got back to the convergence of the spring and the river I realized how dark the river water was compared to the spring water.

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As I was circling the converging water I noticed some eyes popping out of the water. It was the first gator I’ve seen in Florida. He looked about 4 feet from nose to trail.

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I kayaked back into the spring and spent the rest of my time snorkeling.

Overall this this trip was emotionally positive. It proved to me that I can have a good weekend without over-planning. I was feeling especially grateful for being able to travel freely within the invisible boundaries of my own country, since I did spend a large part of my time reading about a North Korean gulag. I did have loneliness sneak up on me at night. I spent my time thinking about what these trips would be like with people I care about. I then felt even lonelier thinking about how difficult it is to have spontaneous trips work out where others join. I started to have some self doubt about taking a longer trip because of this. That and I was being eaten alive by mosquitoes and did not how much of that I could sanely handle on a longer trip. That’s when I remembered that I don’t have to do anything. If I decide that a longer trip is not what I want, then so be it. If I find someone who either wants to take the longer trip with me or not, I am open to the changing desires I feel as a result of this. That helped me find some peace with the feelings I was experiencing and I fell asleep.

I did also want to note that I have a negative reaction to the southern culture. I saw a bumper sticker on a big pickup that said, “Happiness is a north bound Yankee”. He also had a Confederate flag on his truck. I was the only one with a non-south accent and felt pretty intimidated the entire time. I’m not sure if my fear of southerners is justified but I always feel out of place around them. The fear comes from the assumption that they are all religious and bigoted. Being an atheist in a zealous part of the nation keeps me pretty quiet when I am outside of major cities. I don’t even like making eye contact when I am buying food at a supermarket. Also, I feel embarrassed when I have to ask the clerks what they said when I don’t understand them through their thick accents. Not sure how much my fear is justified, but it feels safer to isolate when I am around strangers in the south.

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Honda CRV Camping Bed/Storage – Test Run

I went on a spontaneous trip this weekend and decided to throw the bed in the back and see how it would fare. I had a piece of carpeting left over from a move and stretched it over the wood. I didn’t tack it in place, because I wanted to make sure it would work first.

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Overall I am happy with the way it turned out. I am 6′ 3″ and with the back folded down I could comfortably lay across it and even toss around in the night without too much trouble. I put down a backpacking mattress and used my pillow and sheet for cover. Other than the mosquitoes and 90% Florida humidity, it was a comfortable night. I do realize that the CRV is not the best option for a camping car for someone my size. The headroom was cramped and I had to turn 270 degrees to exit or enter in the side door when I needed to go use the restroom. I’d prefer a mid-sized SUV for this trip, but for now I’ve got the CRV and it will work.

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Off to Florida!

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Honda CR-V Camping Bed/Storage – Part 3

I was able to put together a large bulk of the bed/storage shelf today. I also discovered that you can never plan enough. The seat piece can not be folded up without hitting the roof.

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Here’s the rear section out of the car.

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I had to cut the fold out section a bit to make it fit. Again, my miscalculation with the height of the roof.

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And finally, the entire unit put together and in the car.

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Now all I have to do is install the anchors, figure out a new way to join the new sections (preferably something than can be undone by hand), and sand and paint it. It’s surprisingly strong. I probably could have gotten away with just the plywood but I like having the extra strength in the 2×3′s to keep the board from warping. Can’t wait to road test it!

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Honda CR-V Camping Bed/Storage – Part 2

I finally got together all of the materials I needed to start this project. All of the wood, screws, bolts, pipe, sandpaper, paint and hinges came out to $86 from Lowes. I decided too to get some sawhorses, a circular saw and a few other miscellaneous tools to make this job easier. I went to Harbor Freight for the tools and got out of there with a $23 circular saw, $11 saw horses and a bunch of other tools for under $80.

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The tools worked great and I was able to cut all of the lumber in about an hour. Now just to put it all together!

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Wherever I May Roam, Alone?

My power drill’s battery is dead so until it charges I can’t finish up the bed/storage unit for my Honda. Good time to sit down and contemplate.

And that’s the main point of this blog. To contemplate. Although I enjoy making posts about the physical journey, it’s actually what it evokes on my inward journey that is most important to me.

This is a difficult subject for me to open up about because it is just about the most vulnerable subject I can think of. However, I would not be honoring these emotions if I just kept them bottled up. I’ve already experienced how much conflict I have created by denying my desire to roam. If I don’t continue to listen to my differing and conflicting desires I would not be honoring my original mission to live as freely as I can.

Indulging the desire to roam has brought up some conflicts within, which I completely expected it to. At first it was self-doubt. I thought perhaps I was just acting out once again on some ancient negative pattern. However as I took a rational approach to negotiating with the side of me that desires to roam, I realize more and more that it is anything but a self destructive desire. Once I was able to come to terms with that, a new feeling arose. It was one of sadness around the topic of loneliness. I began to realize that I’ve set a different bar for the possibilities of a relationship in the near future. If I do begin dating again, whomever I date may conflict with my desire to roam. The more I think about it, the more I know that if I meet someone who doesn’t have that desire too, and is willing to act on it, it’s likely to be a deal breaker.

The desire to take this journey with another is a painful prospect. It’s painful because I think it is unlikely I will find someone to join me and yet the desire remains. That may just be an mechanism for me to avoid opening up to the possibility of a relationship. If I’m honest about everything related to this, I still am having trouble trusting myself to be in a relationship again. It definitely feels like I want to avoid the possibility of pain. I don’t blame myself for that because what I experienced over a year ago with my breakup was the most painful experience of my adult life.

I am sure there is wisdom in the fear of pain. It helps us to learn from our mistakes and we are given the opportunity to not create those painful situations again. I’ve been trying hard to understand what went wrong in my last relationship to minimize the possibility of that pain. A year in the most intensive therapy I have experienced has helped me to gain some great insights. However I still have that fear and those pangs of pain associated with remembering the pain of the mistakes I have made. That to me tells me that I still have something to learn.

At the same time I don’t think I can completely process this pain without actually experiencing another relationship. My therapist has said this explicitly to me. He says that I will not ever be “over” any of my past relationships. Something from those relationships will always follow me through to other relationships because you can’t have a relationship without it leaving its mark. That’s not to say that the relationship marks I carry are necessarily a bad thing, but it is important to be aware of them and what they mean for future relationships.

The biggest part of it is going to be learning to trust someone again and on the flip side of that coin it’s going to be learning to trust that I can be honest and open with someone. That’s scary as hell to me but I think my desire will win out over my fear if I continue to recognize and listen to these feelings.

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Highland Universal Car Top Bar Carrier




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Originally uploaded by RoadRich

After finding out that roof racks cost anywhere between $200 to $400 I decided there had to be a less expensive way for me to haul my kayak. Fortunately I found a universal fit roof rack that was only $28 on Amazon! http://goo.gl/vDtf

I was a bit skeptical that it would work, but so far it is great. I even installed the Thule kayak carriers that came with my kayaks with no problem.

It is a little scary trusting four straps attached to the window wells to hold a kayak to the top of my car, so my next step will be to make this roof rack a little more permanent. I think I will use some flexible epoxy and possibly a self tapping screw or two to hold it in place.

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Kayaking the Chattahoochee

My roommate Chris and I took a trip up to Buford dam today to kayak the Chattahoochee. I tracked the trip using the Trimble app for my Android phone. We ended up covering nearly 15 miles of the Hooch.

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Again, enjoying the kayak immensely. Something about a flowing river that helps the mind to meander.

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